| I have had one of those weeks were I feel like life is passing me by. Everywhere I go someone is either getting married or having a baby. It makes me feel a bit out of the loop, almost like my life is insignificant. BUT, I know that that is not true. Last week, I went to Las Vegas for my little brother's wedding. I stayed up almost the entire night before wondering what happened to the little boy that I knew. I remember when we were little kids and he used to walk around with a superman cape glued to his back and a sword in his hand. Last year, I found that old pirate sword stuck in my piano when Walt and I tried to play a few keys. Turns out that that was the reason why the piano was out of tune....a little boy had hidden it there about 15 plus years ago. I remember building tents with him in our old house on Marina Drive. We would make a tent out of bed sheets and use the railing as support. We once built this really cool fort that even had a living room and a hallway that we had to crawl through. I remember when I was just a tot, climbing out of the bathtub when my brother ran in, bit me on the butt, and then ran out. I didn't even knew what hit me. He just found a juicy cheek, sunk his teeth in, I screamed, and my parents never even knew. What a little jerk! I remember the first day I went off to college and I said goodbye to my brother in my dorm room. That was ten years ago. My advice to him was to "stay away from all of the high school whores." I remember the first time I met his bride to be and I thought, "she's not good enough for my brother" because in my eyes, no one was. I remember when I was in Alabama and Patrick just found out that he got accepted into a diesel mechanic school. I was so proud of him. And, I remember the night a little over a year ago when he told me he bought a ring, and I told him that I wanted him to be with a woman that loved him, but even more so loved God. I thought about all of these things that night. The sweet little boy with the tattered blue blankie was getting married. It was a difficult day, for more reasons than one. The week before, my boyfriend and I had split, the year before, I had been wanting to plan my own wedding with the man I loved when that dream crumbled and my heart turned to stone with the causal phrase "I have no burning desire to see you" and I began a long pattern of dating, dating, and more dating. Man, after man, after man, eliminating them like the damn bachelorette. Seriously, it was a chronic pattern that finally ended in February. Here I was, though, in Vegas, on the day of my brother's wedding.....waiting for the ceremony to begin at Mandalay Bay. A bunch of bridesmaids, myself included, and groomsmen were standing around, waiting our turn to walk down the aisle. The wedding coordinator was pairing us up with our groomsmen when I turned to my cousin and said, "welp, I guess it's cousins walking each other down the aisle." Nick looked at me and laughed. Patrick then said casually, "No, Katie, you are walking me down the aisle." I think my face said "well, all be damn, how do you like that." I looked at him and said, "are you sure you don't want mom to do it?" And he said, "No, I want you to do it." It was the honor of my life. I hugged Patrick, kissed him on the cheek, and told him I loved him. It was a great day after all. It made me feel significant and special. Life is not passing me by even though at times it feels like it. At times, I still look back and feel like a 17 year old girl pretending to be a lawyer in a suit that is too big for her. A 17 year old girl who keeps staying in the same place when all of her friends are maturing. But hey, my life has been a blessing. |
